I have lots of struggles. Woe is me. Nothing like a good pity party is there? This is how it goes with a few of them. As a worship leader/song writer/worship team member I’ve often found myself making comparisons. You know, I compare my voice, musical ability, song writing skills and leadership style to others. I don’t make it easy on myself either. It’s always Matt Redman, Brian Doerksen, Chris Tomlin, Paul Baloche, etc. The “biggies” of course. And you know what? I never seem to measure up.
Whenever this happens, all too often I must admit, I have to quickly jerk myself up by the collar and remind myself that I will never measure up to any of these fine folks. The fact is that God never intended for me to. He made one Matt, one Brian, one Chris, one Paul and yes even one Larry. All I am supposed to be is the best Larry I can be and then trust God to finish what he has started.
I’ll wager that I’m not alone in this. Until you and I come to the place of just being the best we can be and letting God be God, we will not be fulfilled, we will not be satisfied, and we will not be all that God wants us to be nor accomplish what He wants us to accomplish.
Here’s another weakness. I’m probably not alone here either. I want the songs that I write to be used in wider circles. I convince myself that surely God has a bigger audience in mind than just my home church, small group or local area. Surely he intends for me to be a worldwide worship leader/song writer or else He wouldn’t give me all of these songs. Can you say “pride”? We all know where that leads, right? Again it’s a case of reminding myself to just be me. If God has a plan to distribute the songs I write around the globe, and that’s a mighty big IF, then He will do it in His time and in the way He chooses. If He doesn’t, then hey, He’s God and I’m not and that’s the way it is.
My joy must, and I do mean must, come from knowing Him and having a relationship with Him. It cannot hinge on the success of my song writing skills or anything/anyone else for that matter. Only when we have come to the place where we draw our happiness and fulfillment from Him will we ever truly be anywhere near happy and fulfilled in this life. So ask God to use you for His greater glory and do what you do to the best of your abilities and trust Him to determine the outcome.